32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
