fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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