I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
