Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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