I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
