shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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