I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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