What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize