Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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