It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
