Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
accomplished twins. life is a go
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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