It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
