oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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