Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
