i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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