how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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