He asked to "fluff my boner.."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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