ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
