I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
