he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
