I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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