The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
