He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
