Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
