physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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