He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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