hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
