Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
