there's paper in my vomit.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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