so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
