if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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