he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
home. puking in laundry basket.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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