this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
