You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You ruined the universe
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
