THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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