She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
