hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We need to rekindle our bromance
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
tell me about the fingering
Randomize