They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
