he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
