I think I am morally bankrupt
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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