i don't plan on having that self control this summer
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
