He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
