the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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