It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
