At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
