i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize