There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Terrible idea I love it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
FUCK WHALES
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
