I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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