We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
