How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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