I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize