Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
