I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
