What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
