haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
