there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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