butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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