Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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