The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
