we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize