Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
