I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
