Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize