He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
two words...techno handjob
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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