I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
