I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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