She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
