HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
