I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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