We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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