this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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