"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
