I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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