You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Fuck appropriateness.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
