I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
